michaelj
Chumono
Serissa are miserable trees to work with. If you want to do real bonsai get rid of them.
Bonsai is really just topiary for the emo crowd.
I love serissa so much, but they keep dying just to piss me off.
I want to more arguments ..Bonsai Humor Thread No. 2
- Thread starter Shogun610
- Start date
I love serissa so much, but they keep dying just to piss me off.
shohin_branches
Omono
Saying you, as a hobbyist, have 300 bonsai is not the flex you think it is. I immediately imagine a bunch of hacked up half-dead nursery stock in plastic nursery cans begging to be thrown in the compost.
rockm
Spuds Moyogi
michaelj
Chumono
I have double that. Easily. None of it is waiting to be tossed in the compost pile, but a good 30%-40% of it is just a stick in a pot and only about 25% of it is properly in a bonsai pot, and maybe 20% of those are worth showing off.
I don't think it's a flex. It's just ... a choice. Having 600 bonsai is not a sport; it's a way of life. It's no hobby. It's a way of looking at that plant and saying
leatherback
The Treedeemer
So.. Tanuki-bility is not the argument for something being Bonsai?
Hm.. Junipers are not bonsai. It is the repeated and constant deliberate actions we take that make it a bonsai. Similarly for succulents.. if the right techniques are applied and the end result is a miniature tree.. There would be arguments in favor. In fact seeing portulacarias like the one below in national shows make me less and less convinced that the over all "succulents cannot be bonsai" argument is a valid one.
Please explain why this should not be considered bonsai?
Luckily I am having coffee. Dutch guys are tall and mean and rude and scary!
leatherback
The Treedeemer
Yup. Similarly on certain facebook groups. Especially because you can already feel the counter arguments in the background why your well-meant recommendations are thrown out and you are branded as elitist, gate-keeper, Rude etcetc.
leatherback
The Treedeemer
Please do drop by one day
I just ended up at that point because my teacher kept saying, you should have one in each main style. And of each common species. Else how are you ever going to be able to help people with their challenges?
Grow each species and style for several years before you start making recommendations.
I am however looking at downscaling and upgrading.
Only a few are garbagematerial, just seeing whether I can revive.
That too.
leatherback
The Treedeemer
Just keep in mind to never water your trees when the sun is out, nor in the afternoon. Only water between 6:00 and 6:05 else the roots go into the night too wet.
Kievnstavick
Chumono
I have it (under good authority) that Bonsai are those corkscrewed money trees with the pretty shiny rocks found at your local store. The Walley family would never sell a product that is dishonest or overpriced.So.. Tanuki-bility is not the argument for something being Bonsai?
Hm.. Junipers are not bonsai. It is the repeated and constant deliberate actions we take that make it a bonsai. Similarly for succulents.. if the right techniques are applied and the end result is a miniature tree.. There would be arguments in favor. In fact seeing portulacarias like the one below in national shows make me less and less convinced that the over all "succulents cannot be bonsai" argument is a valid one.
Please explain why this should not be considered bonsai?
View attachment 605693
Luckily I am having coffee. Dutch guys are tall and mean and rude and scary!
We could maybe stretch the truth and accept Junipers with foliage only at the very tips.
Bonsai means tree in pot. So any tree in any sort of pot is a bonsai. Not to be too nit-picky, but the excludes anything that is not by definition a tree. Sorry to any shrubs in a pot or dare I say herbaceous clumpers made to look like a tree. My 1 month old oak is more of a bonsai than that 85 year old tortured and maimed azalea will ever be. That chicken maybe quacking like a duck, but it is still a chicken.
For clarities sake to any of you argumentive types who make wild comparisons that don't apply to this conversation...yes that squiggly red line my toddler created on my wall is considered modern art. I cut the dry wall and framed that piece. My child will be a famous person one day and I'll have their first entry piece into modern art. And no, I will not sell it or take a picture of it. Cryptobros will make an NFT of it.
leatherback
The Treedeemer
sorry. Disagreed.
Michael P
Omono
After seeing the exquisitely ramified Portulacaria in the Jim Smith collection, I challenge anyone to say they are not bonsai.
Bonsai Nut
Nuttier than your average Nut
I've got tons of plants in landscape pots. None of them are bonsai. To me that plant looks like a strange succulent topiary. It does not remind me of a craggy tree in nature clinging to a cliff-side
I guess if you live in the desert and it's all you have, it's better than nothing. I found them boring and you could more or less shear them into what shape you wanted. Formal upright... or poodle? Your choice!
Wires_Guy_wires
Imperial Masterpiece
Because it's a succulent. Because if we allow this to be bonsai, I'm opting for lifeless plastic to be a bonsai too. One has to draw a line somewhere, and I have drawn that line at age 6 when I tried to eat succulents and they didn't taste like plants.Please explain why this should not be considered bonsai?
It's just a huge accent plant, a topiary, whatever it is, it aint bonsai.
If we're going to play pretend I can whip up some silicone fake plants and prune them, and add wire, and add more silicone to regrow them, put them under shade cloth and keep them warm in winter, perfect techniques applied.
But I will not. And I will not be convinced otherwise!
I am tall, true, but mean? Also true. Also Dutch. And I'm also not a bonsai even though I'm not a succulent. A huge topiary maybe, an accent, eye candy according to some, but not a bonsai!
shohin_branches
Omono
You make money off your trees though so you are not a hobbyist! Some of us have to spend long hours in an over-airconditioned cubicle wishing we were in our yard working on trees.Please do drop by one day
I just ended up at that point because my teacher kept saying, you should have one in each main style. And of each common species. Else how are you ever going to be able to help people with their challenges?
Grow each species and style for several years before you start making recommendations.
I am however looking at downscaling and upgrading.
Only a few are garbagematerial, just seeing whether I can revive.
I used to have 250+ trees when I was a kid working at a garden center. Many of the ugly nursery stock did not make it to the burn pile for a few years.
Now I'm down to 78. Trying to sell some of my ugly cheap trees that I used to learn and understand different species. Trying to buy one decent tree a year though I do love the feeling of turning a $7 garden center reject into a nice tree.
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shohin_branches
Omono
You are not a hobbyist you are an addict!
How many that needed to be repotted this year didn't get repotted?
leatherback
The Treedeemer
Well.. Not a cubical anymore, fortunately, but I do work about 50 hours a week to pay my living and do bonsai on the side. Bonsai is not paying my bills.
kale
Shohin
Forest compositions are a waste of good trees, and windswept is just ugly.
michaelj
Chumono
Needed? Hard to say. None died because they weren't repotted. I have probably 25 that will suffer some and stagnate for a year because they should have been repotted. And there are still at least 30 more left to be repotted this summer. And my barrels of soil ingredients are getting low so I might have to go out and buy a half yard of scoria soon.
The biggest problem, TBH, is watering. I sometimes have to rely on mass spraying 30 trees at a time with the hose on the flat setting, which doesn't always do the trick. Also, since I have so many, sometimes a squirrel knocks over a little one and I don't notice until it's completely dried out.
shohin_branches
Omono
The literal translation of bonsai is not the definition of bonsai!
Wulfskaar
Omono
I think you answered your own question there. If you give good advice, you've done your part admirably. What people do with it is their own business. I prefer to get multiple opinions, as I've seen conflicting advice time and time again. Then I make my own decisions and blame no one else but myself for the consequences.
As for my own points of contention:
1. A lot of bonsai that people swoon over look like unnatural abominations to me. Many old Japanese bonsai fit this bill for me.
2. A lot of bonsai trunks are way too fat, and look like unnatural abominations to me.
Some are cool, but a lot are just weird.Similar threads
