I want to more arguments ..Bonsai Humor Thread No. 2

[Shogun610]

Someone pick a topic .. argue about it (cant be soil) or pick an argument , please voice your opinion. This is the local tavern, we’ve all had 4-5 strong beers thus far … what are we discussing. Doesn’t have to be right or wrong I just want argument and humor. Controversial things bonsai related only or arguments that you’re passionate. , funny things that made you laugh or scratch your head or that you believe yourself yet are embarrassed to say related to trees in pots

 

[nuttiest]

I have a few cartoons in my head but it's the tree point of view. Three or four main characters. They argue amongst each other, and make fun of bonsai guy. When I go to put it on paper it seems too hard. (the drawing part)

 

[Tidal Bonsai]

I don't know if its that controversial anymore, but I still get people at clubs that scoff when I say I use nitrogen fertilizer in the fall...

Pruning stimulates new growth at that time of the year, not nitrogen fertilizer.

 

[River's Edge]

Why do people clearly state they don't understand what went wrong with their tree and then disagree when they are given help?
Is it because they do not understand that the tree, the soil and the pictures provide evidence of their care routines and actions taken on the trees?
Just wondering if it is worth answering questions some times?
Or
Why do people feel that reading or hearing something is evidence that something is valid?
Or why do they call it common sense when it is not very common?
Just wondering.

 

[Shibui]

There is no need to use chop stick to push soil into the roots.
Air pockets in the pot are no problem.

 

[Wires_Guy_wires]

I scroll reddit r/bonsai each day until I see succulents and then stop. I generally make it about three to six posts.
Succulents are house plants. House plants are not bonsai. Succulents are not bonsai. Whoever keeps acting like they are should finish their beer and meet me outside.. See any succulents there? THATS WHAT I MEAN.
If a bonsai dies, it should turn to wood. If it turns to mush instead, you've been growing a solid smoothy. Good luck with trying to make a tanuki out of that!

 

[mihai091]

I scroll reddit r/bonsai each day until I see succulents and then stop. I generally make it about three to six posts.
Succulents are house plants. House plants are not bonsai. Succulents are not bonsai. Whoever keeps acting like they are should finish their beer and meet me outside.. See any succulents there? THATS WHAT I MEAN.
If a bonsai dies, it should turn to wood. If it turns to mush instead, you've been growing a solid smoothy. Good luck with trying to make a tanuki out of that!

Lets not forget the daily procumbens kept indoors is it alive post

 

[rockm]

Serissa are miserable trees to work with. If you want to do real bonsai get rid of them.

Bonsai is really just topiary for the emo crowd.

 

[Wires_Guy_wires]

Lets not forget the daily procumbens kept indoors is it alive post

I will not forget those. But I will forgive their owners.

 

[Michael P]

I hate coiled wire.

I hate putting it on. I hate how it looks. I hate inspecting it every day to make sure it does not bite in. I hate when it bites in anyway. I hate taking it off and seeing all those wire scars. I hate throwing all those little bits away, it seems like such a waste.

 

[Paradox]

Jade plants are bonsai.....not.
Imo

 

[Paradox]

You don't need to tie your tree down in the pot.

Someone I know refused to do that until a decent tree got blown out of the pot by wind

 

[Hedorah]

Why do people clearly state they don't understand what went wrong with their tree and then disagree when they are given help?
Is it because they do not understand that the tree, the soil and the pictures provide evidence of their care routines and actions taken on the trees?
Just wondering if it is worth answering questions some times?
Or
Why do people feel that reading or hearing something is evidence that something is valid?
Or why do they call it common sense when it is not very common?
Just wondering.

Please don't stop answering questions from us newbs.......even if it's just one of us that listens, it's well worth it and appreciated

Respect.

 

[Paradox]

Just wondering if it is worth answering questions some times?

Confession: there are times I see a thread of something that has been asked 1000 times or another "Is it dead?" thread and I go "nope, going to let someone else answer that" cause I just can't again

 

[Hedorah]

Confession: there are times I see a thread of something that has been asked 1000 times or another "Is it dead?" thread and I go "nope, going to let someone else answer that" cause I just can't again

Very understandable. The person asking general questions has the responsibility of searching the threads. The only other social media site I belong to is a UTV/ATV forum and the same situations happen over there as well.

One of the best things they did there was to have numerous stickied threads that covered most machines and most things related to them......of course here , you're dealing with a living , finicky subject and the questions and answers can be very nuanced.

 

[Fidur]

 

[Maros]

View attachment 605291

Sorry to tell you, but Melchior killed it with overdose of fertilizer

 

[Dav4]

After being a member here for almost 18 years, I’m pretty much argued out now, but could go head to head with the best of them back in the day. With that being said, and in honor of those particular members who helped me reach my potential- Vance Woods, Smoke, Will Heath, Forsoothe, Stacey Allen Muse, Bolero, Adair, etc., I’ll raise a glass to you today… Cheers!

 

[RoadManDenDron]

Pinching junipers by hand simply pops the unlignified part out and leaves a concave tissue that is ready to heal easily

Scissors on the other hand cut straight across the tissue and therefore cause more damage

 

[michaelj]

I scroll reddit r/bonsai each day until I see succulents and then stop. I generally make it about three to six posts.
Succulents are house plants. House plants are not bonsai. Succulents are not bonsai. Whoever keeps acting like they are should finish their beer and meet me outside.. See any succulents there? THATS WHAT I MEAN.
If a bonsai dies, it should turn to wood. If it turns to mush instead, you've been growing a solid smoothy. Good luck with trying to make a tanuki out of that!

I'm growing a kalanchoe that has deadwood, yo.