Let me roast your trees on YouTube. I'm in an especially snarky mood.

[BillsBayou]

I would like to create a video where I take photos of your bonsai and give them a good verbal roasting. Hopefully this will turn out to be a funny video.

Why do this? A certain other bonsai board has been posting some especially crappy misunderstandings of bonsai. My idea was to start an anonymous YouTube channel called "YourBonsaiSucksAndYouKnowIt". That's an intrusive thought. That would be mean. But something was in that thought. What if I could make the comments like a comedy roast? I could put my name on that project.

Here are some rules:
1) You MUST own the tree.
2) You should be the photographer, but fair use rules actually allow commentary without compensation.
3) You should have a thick skin and won't cry foul on my commentary.
4) You must be able to laugh at yourself.
5) Post photos to this thread, or link to the photo on BNut. (You can also send me the photos by way of a BNut message)
6) You can roast your own tree in this thread, but do not roast anyone else's trees. BNut is my favorite bonsai board and I don't want anyone to get upset in this thread or for animosity to leak out of this thread.
7) Feel free to roast me in this thread.
8) By posting here you agree to the conditions laid out in this post and understand that I will be roasting your tree in a YouTube video.

Here are my rules:
1) Bill MUST post the video by July 27th. (I have a week of vacation to burn)
2) Bill MUST roast his own trees.
3) Bill can NOT be mean for the sake of being mean.
4) Bill will laugh at himself.
5) Bill must make a good faith effort to be funny and/or snarky.

YouTube has monetized my videos, but I don't see a single cent. This project will net me exactly $0. Hopefully not a penny less.

Comments?

 

[Desert O'Piñon]

Brilliant idea. Photos, or videos, or both? Do undeveloped/pre-bonsai apply, or just trees in or ready for refinement? I have plenty of trees striving to be strong enough to begin their journey toward becoming bonsai.

 

[BillsBayou]

Brilliant idea. Photos, or videos, or both? Do undeveloped/pre-bonsai apply, or just trees in or ready for refinement? I have plenty of trees striving to be strong enough to begin their journey toward becoming bonsai.

All of that. I don't care if it's dead/dying or the cotyledons of a seed. You post it, I'll roast it.

 

[chriso383]

This is going to be good. IN for the LoLs

 

[Wulfskaar]

Oh dang, which of my trees needs to be torn a new one?

Roast my BC?
https://www.bonsainut.com/threads/wulfskaars-bald-cypress.60870/

Or my sweet gum forest?
https://www.bonsainut.com/threads/wulfskaars-liquidambars-sweetgum-from-seeds.53087/

Having my trees online opens them up to a good roasting, so feel free to target any of them.

 

[BillsBayou]

Oh dang, which of my trees needs to be torn a new one?

Roast my BC?
https://www.bonsainut.com/threads/wulfskaars-bald-cypress.60870/

Or my sweet gum forest?
https://www.bonsainut.com/threads/wulfskaars-liquidambars-sweetgum-from-seeds.53087/

Having my trees online opens them up to a good roasting, so feel free to target any of them.

There is a flaw in my plans: Social Media and YouTube censorship.

I'm going to have to censor what I first said about that BC. Then I'm going to go viral for all the wrong reasons on that sweet gum forest and get "cancelled".

Do you think Joan of Arc would be a saint if she lit her own pyre? Damn. It's going to look like I forgot which to put on first. The fireproof suit or the gallon of gasoline.

"Bill is approaching the platform. This will be a fire dive from 80 feet."
"He's striking the match, Cotton."
"WHOA! I did not think it was possible to set fire to a fireproof suit from the inside."
"Welcome to Burn Town, Dude. Population you!"

 

[michaelj]

Here, have some fodder. There are some obvious places you can take this roast. But if the roast is funny, I want to use a clip of it on my Drunk Bonsai channel.

 

[Cadillactaste]

I can appreciate the rules must be one accepting the challenge. And not mocking another man's work. There was a group on Facebook that I left.. that made fun of people who couldn't defend their work. Oh they got a piece of me ... many blocked me. Even though I left the group lol

 

[BillsBayou]

Here, have some fodder. There are some obvious places you can take this roast. But if the roast is funny, I want to use a clip of it on my Drunk Bonsai channel.

View attachment 606862

You're on! Permission granted. Reciprocity should be part of this whole thing.

 

[BillsBayou]

I can appreciate the rules must be one accepting the challenge. And not mocking another man's work. There was a group on Facebook that I left.. that made fun of people who couldn't defend their work. Oh they got a piece of me ... many blocked me. Even though I left the group lol

There are so many good groups that you don't need to stick around in the negative ones. I like a good round of offensive behavior (by others). It helps me figure out who to block. It's even better on Facebook than here at BNut because I usually get their real names.

The interesting thing about negative energy is that you can refuse delivery. Be calm and don't retaliate. The ironic thing is that negative people get even more upset when they cannot get to you. Your refusal hits them worse than anything you could have said. Blocking them is like capturing a hornet in a glass jar. "Tap tap tap. Who's a mad little hornet? Aren't you a cutie!"

I only have two people on my BNut block list. It's a great community.

 

[Cadillactaste]

There are so many good groups that you don't need to stick around in the negative ones. I like a good round of offensive behavior (by others). It helps me figure out who to block. It's even better on Facebook than here at BNut because I usually get their real names.

The interesting thing about negative energy is that you can refuse delivery. Be calm and don't retaliate. The ironic thing is that negative people get even more upset when they cannot get to you. Your refusal hits them worse than anything you could have said. Blocking them is like capturing a hornet in a glass jar. "Tap tap tap. Who's a mad little hornet? Aren't you a cutie!"

I only have two people on my BNut block list. It's a great community.

They went after a friend... here's the thing. I've thick skin, yeah? But...to not defend one who can't defend themselves? I only stated the obvious on the mentality of being big behind ones back. Then left . Oh I got lit into in messages. I imagine I was blocked so their messages disappeared .

I'm kind of done with groups at the moment. I go through phases like that. Where I just get sick of people. (No offense) I've just hate fake... last year...I cleaned house on my friend list. Flying monkeys who knew one was treating me bad. And...were quite the cheerleaders to the one. Hard pass...on people and morals. If one is my friend. I can guarantee...No one speaks ill behind their back to me. I've ended friendships over one not being able to stop their gossip when I shut them down. Nope...to permit it...it may have come from my mouth. There is no gray area there for me.

I've literally...removed myself from groups. I'm truly done with fake. People need to grow backbones.

Same sense ...I'm kind of geeking out on weight lifting hacks...for my home gym. That is like the hours spent on learning bonsai. It keeps me busy. I've a list here on ignore...as...I don't like my time wasted. Some...just like to waste ones time. Watching my dad die. It truly hit me...my time...is more valuable than that. It's time you can't get back.

Sorry...pulled you down a rabbit hole. that said...I have watched ones roast ones in good humor. It was ... interesting. You learned things. Lol so best of luck with that.

 

[Desert O'Piñon]

I think that this is a great idea. And, since it is done in jest, there is an understanding of expectations. This will also highlight those who can handle some criticism done in fun, and those who cannot.
I should really try to get video of some of my pathetic sticks in pots. Just to see if I can handle the kind of abuse my trees receive.

 

[Cadillactaste]

I think that this is a great idea. And, since it is done in jest, there is an understanding of expectations. This will also highlight those who can handle some criticism done in fun, and those who cannot.
I should really try to get video of some of my pathetic sticks in pots. Just to see if I can handle the kind of abuse my trees receive.

Oh I have uglies...I'm kind of sensitive to them. I see their potential ... I also don't truly watch videos even on bonsai...or TV. I only listen to music.

 

[dbonsaiw]

Sounds like fun. Here's a few. Let me have it.

 

[rusticana]

I would like to create a video where I take photos of your bonsai and give them a good verbal roasting. Hopefully this will turn out to be a funny video.

Why do this? A certain other bonsai board has been posting some especially crappy misunderstandings of bonsai. My idea was to start an anonymous YouTube channel called "YourBonsaiSucksAndYouKnowIt". That's an intrusive thought. That would be mean. But something was in that thought. What if I could make the comments like a comedy roast? I could put my name on that project.

Here are some rules:
1) You MUST own the tree.
2) You should be the photographer, but fair use rules actually allow commentary without compensation.
3) You should have a thick skin and won't cry foul on my commentary.
4) You must be able to laugh at yourself.
5) Post photos to this thread, or link to the photo on BNut. (You can also send me the photos by way of a BNut message)
6) You can roast your own tree in this thread, but do not roast anyone else's trees. BNut is my favorite bonsai board and I don't want anyone to get upset in this thread or for animosity to leak out of this thread.
7) Feel free to roast me in this thread.
8) By posting here you agree to the conditions laid out in this post and understand that I will be roasting your tree in a YouTube video.

Here are my rules:
1) Bill MUST post the video by July 27th. (I have a week of vacation to burn)
2) Bill MUST roast his own trees.
3) Bill can NOT be mean for the sake of being mean.
4) Bill will laugh at himself.
5) Bill must make a good faith effort to be funny and/or snarky.

YouTube has monetized my videos, but I don't see a single cent. This project will net me exactly $0. Hopefully not a pen

I would like to create a video where I take photos of your bonsai and give them a good verbal roasting. Hopefully this will turn out to be a funny video.

Why do this? A certain other bonsai board has been posting some especially crappy misunderstandings of bonsai. My idea was to start an anonymous YouTube channel called "YourBonsaiSucksAndYouKnowIt". That's an intrusive thought. That would be mean. But something was in that thought. What if I could make the comments like a comedy roast? I could put my name on that project.

Here are some rules:
1) You MUST own the tree.
2) You should be the photographer, but fair use rules actually allow commentary without compensation.
3) You should have a thick skin and won't cry foul on my commentary.
4) You must be able to laugh at yourself.
5) Post photos to this thread, or link to the photo on BNut. (You can also send me the photos by way of a BNut message)
6) You can roast your own tree in this thread, but do not roast anyone else's trees. BNut is my favorite bonsai board and I don't want anyone to get upset in this thread or for animosity to leak out of this thread.
7) Feel free to roast me in this thread.
8) By posting here you agree to the conditions laid out in this post and understand that I will be roasting your tree in a YouTube video.

Here are my rules:
1) Bill MUST post the video by July 27th. (I have a week of vacation to burn)
2) Bill MUST roast his own trees.
3) Bill can NOT be mean for the sake of being mean.
4) Bill will laugh at himself.
5) Bill must make a good faith effort to be funny and/or snarky.

YouTube has monetized my videos, but I don't see a single cent. This project will net me exactly $0. Hopefully not

I would like to create a video where I take photos of your bonsai and give them a good verbal roasting. Hopefully this will turn out to be a funny video.

Why do this? A certain other bonsai board has been posting some especially crappy misunderstandings of bonsai. My idea was to start an anonymous YouTube channel called "YourBonsaiSucksAndYouKnowIt". That's an intrusive thought. That would be mean. But something was in that thought. What if I could make the comments like a comedy roast? I could put my name on that project.

Here are some rules:
1) You MUST own the tree.
2) You should be the photographer, but fair use rules actually allow commentary without compensation.
3) You should have a thick skin and won't cry foul on my commentary.
4) You must be able to laugh at yourself.
5) Post photos to this thread, or link to the photo on BNut. (You can also send me the photos by way of a BNut message)
6) You can roast your own tree in this thread, but do not roast anyone else's trees. BNut is my favorite bonsai board and I don't want anyone to get upset in this thread or for animosity to leak out of this thread.
7) Feel free to roast me in this thread.
8) By posting here you agree to the conditions laid out in this post and understand that I will be roasting your tree in a YouTube video.

Here are my rules:
1) Bill MUST post the video by July 27th. (I have a week of vacation to burn)
2) Bill MUST roast his own trees.
3) Bill can NOT be mean for the sake of being mean.
4) Bill will laugh at himself.
5) Bill must make a good faith effort to be funny and/or snarky.

YouTube has monetized my videos, but I don't see a single cent. This project will net me exactly $0. Hopefully not a penn

I would like to create a video where I take photos of your bonsai and give them a good verbal roasting. Hopefully this will turn out to be a funny video.

Why do this? A certain other bonsai board has been posting some especially crappy misunderstandings of bonsai. My idea was to start an anonymous YouTube channel called "YourBonsaiSucksAndYouKnowIt". That's an intrusive thought. That would be mean. But something was in that thought. What if I could make the comments like a comedy roast? I could put my name on that project.

Here are some rules:
1) You MUST own the tree.
2) You should be the photographer, but fair use rules actually allow commentary without compensation.
3) You should have a thick skin and won't cry foul on my commentary.
4) You must be able to laugh at yourself.
5) Post photos to this thread, or link to the photo on BNut. (You can also send me the photos by way of a BNut message)
6) You can roast your own tree in this thread, but do not roast anyone else's trees. BNut is my favorite bonsai board and I don't want anyone to get upset in this thread or for animosity to leak out of this thread.
7) Feel free to roast me in this thread.
8) By posting here you agree to the conditions laid out in this post and understand that I will be roasting your tree in a YouTube video.

Here are my rules:
1) Bill MUST post the video by July 27th. (I have a week of vacation to burn)
2) Bill MUST roast his own trees.
3) Bill can NOT be mean for the sake of being mean.
4) Bill will laugh at himself.
5) Bill must make a good faith effort to be funny and/or snarky.

YouTube has monetized my videos, but I don't see a single cent. This project will net me exactly $0. Hopefully not a penny less.

Comments?

There must be more paramaters han this?
Are we supposed to groom it up or present them in their crudest neglected state.
Also will you be more gentle with inner city folks? After all it's not everyone that can paddle out there, fend off aligators, to get a trophy? This is the beggining of yours roast.
But I've got a lot of funny lookin stuff you should take a look at. Not the tree you helped me with. Shes in recovery and I'm protecting her for the time being. Once I figure out my presentation (s) stick me on the spit.

 

[BillsBayou]

There must be more paramaters han this?
Are we supposed to groom it up or present them in their crudest neglected state.
Also will you be more gentle with inner city folks? After all it's not everyone that can paddle out there, fend off aligators, to get a trophy? This is the beggining of yours roast.
But I've got a lot of funny lookin stuff you should take a look at. Not the tree you helped me with. Shes in recovery and I'm protecting her for the time being. Once I figure out my presentation (s) stick me on the spit.

Submit any photo where you would say "Look at this tree and tell me what you think." That's when I put on my snarky hat and have a little fun.

At no time will I be making you feel as if you should abandon bonsai. For example "It's supposed to be a forest, not a rave. I'm calling this one 'Panic-At-The-Disco Style'. Have you thought of giving each tree their own glow-stick? Mister Dee Jay, give us a beat!" With more comments along that line. (Now that I think of it, I have a music subscription service where I can add royalty-free music to the video. "Bum-tiss-bum-tiss-bum-tiss-bum-tiss-bum-tiss-bum-tiss-bum-tiss")

What I do NOT want to do is make fun of someone's trees in a non-funny mean style. For example "Have you ever seen a forest? Your symmetry is all wrong. You should just throw that away." BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE WRONG.

I will have someone with a sense of humor, whose opinion as an artist I value, watch the video before I post. Then I will send a private link to everyone who has supported the video with their submissions. Everyone should have veto power on their tree's review.

 

[BillsBayou]

I think that this is a great idea. And, since it is done in jest, there is an understanding of expectations. This will also highlight those who can handle some criticism done in fun, and those who cannot.
I should really try to get video of some of my pathetic sticks in pots. Just to see if I can handle the kind of abuse my trees receive.

I hope to see something from you!

 

[Wulfskaar]

My trees are so bad, Bill wouldn't even roast them.

I guess it would be like roasting a disabled person... better to steer clear!