I want to hear more arguments ..Bonsai Humor Thread No. 2

[LeftHandLuke]

I make my own cut paste too:

Terrible mistake! No plant hormones. Will NEVER heal!

 

[Maros]

In

Bonsai related though

Timing in bonsai seems to be understood as very important. And when communicating on global platform like bonsainut, connecting people from South Africa to Norway, and from California to Russia it could have some significance due to differences in seasonality and climate zones.

Anyways, I know some of my friends are cutting or pruning their trees only during waning phases of the moon cycle. I don't know if it is still a thing somewhere or no. Explained as related to liquids pumped up in the plants during gowth of the moon. Any werewolfs here?

 

[leatherback]

Bonsai related though

Well, we can have a discussion about it. But no need. I would prefer bonsai related.

But the OP said:

Controversial things bonsai related only or arguments that you’re passionate

I am passionate about understanding how the world is experienced in different places on this round ball flying through space.

 

[leatherback]

cutting or pruning their trees only during waning phases of the moon cycle

I have never even been able to follow the argumentation there. Linked to the forces of the moon pulling or something, or what was it?

 

[Paradox]

Bonsai forum threads should stay on topic. There's no need for frivolity or anything unrelated to bonsai.
Come at me.

It's an open forum. Can't control what people post for the most part.
People asked a question, others provided answers. To shut down an otherwise ok thread for that IS stupid. Do you want open conversation or not? You start shutting down posts you don't like just because its off topic, you might find there are less people posting.

 

[Paradox]

Don't recall if anyone else posted this.
The quintessential bonsai argument: soil wars anyone?

"I don't want to buy dirt(soil), why can't I just dig soil out of my yard/garden and use that???!!!"

 

[blackadam]

maybe me (and my citrus 'trees') finally grow up to use proper soil one day and became bonsai
for now i sticking with dirt (cheap), got quite a lot seedlings and cutlings to pot
just bought 40 litres..

 

[SailDesign]

Don't recall if anyone else posted this.
The quintessential bonsai argument: soil wars anyone?

"I don't want to buy dirt(soil), why can't I just dig soil out of my yard/garden and use that???!!!"

Thirty years ago, I just dug soil for bonsai out of my wife's flower beds (sssshhhh...)

Of course, my kids called me "The Bonsai Killer", and it has taken 30 years to get over it, so there is that.

 

[ShadyStump]

Don't recall if anyone else posted this.
The quintessential bonsai argument: soil wars anyone?

"I don't want to buy dirt(soil), why can't I just dig soil out of my yard/garden and use that???!!!"

I can barely get weeds to grow in my soil half the time. I'm not taking chances on my trees...
Any more.

 

[Paradox]

The first "soil" I used was a 50/50 mix of sand and pea gravel. What a mistake that was....

 

[nuttiest]

I have never even been able to follow the argumentation there. Linked to the forces of the moon pulling or something, or what was it?

Then just look it up... the new moon and full moon have effect on water level and how it moves in soil and water bodies. it only makes sense to water heavy during those times. This is mostly for riparian areas.

 

[Maros]

I have never even been able to follow the argumentation there. Linked to the forces of the moon pulling or something, or what was it?

I was a member of a club many years ago, and many members referred to it as a done deal. Exactly like you are writing, forces of moom pull water up, so in that phase, you do not cut anything from the tree.
For me, it was too much paranormal, not scientific, so I never went down that road.

However, I understand that many aspects of bonsai (horticulture) are not entirely scientific. This thread as example - wound sealant, yes/no/home-made/putty/containing hormones/fragrance. Similar to soils, the timing of processes, media for airlayering, fertilisers, and organic/chemical functionality under heat, etc.

Many things are trial and error, supported by anecdotal evidence at best. And there is not much science or evidence behind. But with large enough engaged communities, we can work in those kinds of circumstances. A lot of people are sharing a lot of different experiences, and if you want, you can draw your conclusions tailored for your species, climate zone, etc.
For example, I was thinking if there is any other field of horticulture or plant propagation business which has more and wider experience with propagation by air-layering? I have no idea, but from my experience, if you want to layer some plants and you are looking for a way forward, most probably you will find some kind of hint in the bonsai community online. Can you layer linden/mugo pine/juniper (insert your preferred/complicated species)? When start? What media works, and how long does it take? Bonsai guys have answers, anecdotal, but answers. Right? Who else is doing that in botany? So, I think here we are spearheading. Thoughts?

 

[Zac]

Don't recall if anyone else posted this.
The quintessential bonsai argument: soil wars anyone?

"I don't want to buy dirt(soil), why can't I just dig soil out of my yard/garden and use that???!!!"

I think bonsai soil is a gimmick. My neighbor has been growing trees in rotting leaves in his gutters for the last couple years and they're growing better than mine. He has one that's over 6 foot tall and trunk looks to be about 2 inches thick. Just saying

 

[shohin_branches]

Then just look it up... the new moon and full moon have effect on water level and how it moves in soil and water bodies. it only makes sense to water heavy during those times. This is mostly for riparian areas.

Gravity of the moon has an effect on objects with a large amount of mass. Your bonsai is not equivalent to the ocean in that sense.

 

[Desert O'Piñon]

It's an open forum. Can't control what people post for the most part.
People asked a question, others provided answers. To shut down an otherwise ok thread for that IS stupid. Do you want open conversation or not? You start shutting down posts you don't like just because its off topic, you might find there are less people posting.

I actually agree, I was adhering to the "humor" part of the thread title, apparently not very obviously. It was meant to be tongue in cheek, but tone doesn't show up in a text format.

 

[shohin_branches]

Who do I go through to get my posts approved as being "on topic" for this thread?

 

[Paradox]

I actually agree, I was adhering to the "humor" part of the thread title, apparently not very obviously. It was meant to be tongue in cheek, but tone doesn't show up in a text format.

Well you did say "come at me".
This is an argument thread after all...

 

[michaelj]

Well ChatGPT is a moron and until it posts photos of its own trees I'm not taking any advice from it.

I'm trying to teach ChatGPT that the best bonsai cut paste, at least here in Zone 10a, is a mixture of about 78% nitrogen, 21% oxygen and 1% argon, with de minimis quantities of other various elements. I know it works best for me in most cases.

 

[leatherback]

Gravity of the moon has an effect on objects with a large amount of mass. Your bonsai is not equivalent to the ocean in that sense.

Exactly. As said. I am not able to follow the arguments. There is no sensible reason why individual plants in pots are affected by celestial objects.
But I guess some people also believe the position of these objects in the sky at birth affects their life and personality.

 

[michaelj]

Then just look it up... the new moon and full moon have effect on water level and how it moves in soil and water bodies. it only makes sense to water heavy during those times. This is mostly for riparian areas.

Most people don't even take into account the tides. Your trees need more water at low tide than at high tide.

It is known.