Bonsai Opinions...
- Thread starter Bolero
- Start date
grouper52
Masterpiece
Help me out with the math here, folks, concerning what I will henceforth label as the "Bolero Postulate" (the term Bolero's "Pustulate" having also been proposed ... )
Bolero's Private Parts' (length x width) / (His IQ + # of Noteworthy Bonsai) = ???
The answer I get is that this is equal roughly to the square root of the root mass of his decent trees, which is zero.
Have I gone wrong in my calculations here?
Obviously, and without question, e (excrement) = mc ( mucho-crapola) squared - and this is perhaps a more valid calculation of Bolero's postulate ... but then, I never really adequately solved the Schrödinger Wave Equation to the satisfaction of the Japanese - nor the Chinese - bonsai Masters, to whom I bow whenever I think .. or fantasize ... or worry, truthfully .... or even feel dismay ... despair .......... about their length x width Private Parts calculations, and the limp deadwood factor that neither these days produces interesting trees, nor offspring.
Bolero's Private Parts' (length x width) / (His IQ + # of Noteworthy Bonsai) = ???
The answer I get is that this is equal roughly to the square root of the root mass of his decent trees, which is zero.
Have I gone wrong in my calculations here?
Obviously, and without question, e (excrement) = mc ( mucho-crapola) squared - and this is perhaps a more valid calculation of Bolero's postulate ... but then, I never really adequately solved the Schrödinger Wave Equation to the satisfaction of the Japanese - nor the Chinese - bonsai Masters, to whom I bow whenever I think .. or fantasize ... or worry, truthfully .... or even feel dismay ... despair .......... about their length x width Private Parts calculations, and the limp deadwood factor that neither these days produces interesting trees, nor offspring.
Smoke
Ignore-Amus
I don't know about anyone else ...but that made a wet spot in my pants.....
grouper52
Masterpiece
These noteworthy "wet spots", if I calculate correctly, correspond directly to your "length x width" Private Parts calculations in a positive sense, ensuring - most likely - the production by you of interesting trees at the very least, a phenomenon unwitnessed for the most part (Kimura excepted, given his proclivities for easy women of certain foreign dark-color extractions) in Japan and China for a generation or more now.
I believe Bolero's juvenile, sub-maturational experiences in such realms negate clearly - and almost certainly - his claims, put forth in the Bolero Postulate, with it's tenuous grounding on his length x width of Private Parts calculations, divided by his IQ plus his number of noteworthy Bonsai, the results of which, as stated, are roughly equal to the square root of the root mass of his decent trees, which is clearly zero.
This should be clear by now, and I rest my case.
JudyB
Queen of the Nuts
If you collect said wet spots (also known as angel tears) and sprinkle them sparingly on your bonsai look-alike, you can erase 10 years off the 100 year requirement. If however your tears are not pure in spirit, your tree will will receive the deadly pseudomonas and there will be no joy in mudville.
Paulpash
Masterpiece
As the pointless post count continues to skyrocket, Obama is the voice of reason:
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eryk2kartman
Chumono
So can 500 years old True Bonsai be trimmed with modern scissors or would it make it look-a-like bonsai?
Oh, it wouldn’t be a True Bonsai because you’re watering it with modern water!
Traken
Shohin
What if your water comes from a deep aquifer? There might be some hundreds of years old water in there. We should harvest it and sell bottled True Bonsai Watering Liquid™ (patent pending).
eryk2kartman
Chumono
But it has to be taken from near Japan or China, otherwise it doesnt count 
JudyB
Queen of the Nuts
Unless you mix it with the aforementioned "angel tears" (AKA super thrive)But it has to be taken from near Japan or China, otherwise it doesnt count
cheap_walmart_art
Omono
BackyardBonsai
Shohin
God helps us. We have another @bol ero in the house. We are doomed!!! There are just too many nonsense posts from bolero that taking up all the space for the real meaningful posts. I appeal to all to just ignore this dude. He won't be around long if no one interact with him.... that doesn't stop him from creating a new screen handle though.... that is my opinion.
penumbra
Imperial Masterpiece
No question some are.
Smoke
Ignore-Amus
The thread has so much life now, it has passed Bolero and now he wants to play. I find that comical in it's own way. Probably part of the "Pustulate".
Bolero
Omono
Who is this Bul ero person ? is that you Smoke ? Just got back from lunch, Dickeys, best BBQ around...
Atom#28
Chumono
We shall rename them "Trollero"!!!!
Smoke
Ignore-Amus
Now I know your crazy.....
AppleBonsai
Shohin
So you ARE Smoke!
