I want to more arguments ..Bonsai Humor Thread No. 2

[Hartinez]

Assign a spot within a bright lit room to an artist and let them do their own display instead of the rows of tables seems like a good start to me.
But the car show idea with hot models in very few clothes, opened pots, barbecue and a couple of guys in the back revving branches and blasting metal music sounds like a fun idea.
I'm also in favor of someone standing up and doing bansky style bonsai in random city locations.

Yesssss. This is what I’m talking about. More bonsai shows for non bonsai people. Even just a single bonsai enthusiast with a high end collection who puts together a show at a gallery. Complete with artist statements and non traditional and even downright weird ways of showing the trees.

 

[NMbonsai]

So.. Tanuki-bility is not the argument for something being Bonsai?


Hm.. Junipers are not bonsai. It is the repeated and constant deliberate actions we take that make it a bonsai. Similarly for succulents.. if the right techniques are applied and the end result is a miniature tree.. There would be arguments in favor. In fact seeing portulacarias like the one below in national shows make me less and less convinced that the over all "succulents cannot be bonsai" argument is a valid one.

Please explain why this should not be considered bonsai?
View attachment 605693


Luckily I am having coffee. Dutch guys are tall and mean and rude and scary!

Not all of them, at least here in the States. I have met two over the years that are tall; but articulate, intelligent, and funny as hell, with a dry sense of humor. Some of that may apply to you, Jelle.

 

[Eckhoffw]

Trees -especially conifers-benefit from light during winter storage.

Just as trees can survive for “periods” indoors, they don’t thrive like they would outside.
Aside from new saplings buried in the mountains by feet of snow, trees don’t live in absolute darkness through the winter.

Trees in caves?

Light is beneficial as even deciduous are capable of low levels of photosynthesis through the winter.
Hmmmmm……

 

[Desert O'Piñon]

Assign a spot within a bright lit room to an artist and let them do their own display instead of the rows of tables seems like a good start to me.
But the car show idea with hot models in very few clothes, opened pots, barbecue and a couple of guys in the back revving branches and blasting metal music sounds like a fun idea.
I'm also in favor of someone standing up and doing bansky style bonsai in random city locations.

Yesssss. This is what I’m talking about. More bonsai shows for non bonsai people. Even just a single bonsai enthusiast with a high end collection who puts together a show at a gallery. Complete with artist statements and non traditional and even downright weird ways of showing the trees.

If the point is to show off the work, the art, the craftsmanship to anyone and everyone, this has potential. Drawing interest and new practitioners into our niche is not a bad thing in any way I can think of. I do think that any display should include multiple styles and species, as one will be attracted by the very same tree that repels another. So, maybe a beautifully restored-to-original '57 Corvette Stingray displayed head-to-head with a chopped '66 Impala lowrider and a bored-out 1970 F100 4x4. Show the people some variety and let them see the range of possibilities.
I want to do exactly this eventually. Once I have a few considerable trees, I would like to have a public display somewhere, just to generate curiosity. Maybe enough people would be interested that we could start a club.
But I still think that traditional bonsai shows are ideal also for those of us who are already involved with the craft. And someday, I hope to attend one myself.

 

[NMbonsai]

It's not growing because you need to put it inside by a direct sunlight window.

The climate control of a house allows the tree to recover like a spa day would do for us. Less stress and don't have to deal with the environment. Make sure to mist it every couple hours to really hydrate the leaves and bark. Since you cut all the roots away, it needs to absorb the moisture through the pores. Once the roots regrow,consider misting but not watering the soil. If moss starts growing then you are misting too often.

Also the glass magnifies the light so the tree gets more concentration of it per leaf. Like going to an all you can eat buffet.

Once it recovers and grows, might as well keep it inside. Trees love to live a pampered life.

Also, you should never mist or get water on the leaves during a sunny day because each droplet will act like tiny lens, focusing the light and burning the leaves. Even indoors!
Seriously, this old chestnut has been around in gardening circles for years; started and then requoted in books, newspaper articles, and now on the internet. Michael Hagedorn blows this one out of the water in his book 'Bonsai Heresy'. He mentions a scientific study that proved this phenomenon impossible, based on the laws of optics and physics.

 

[Eckhoffw]

I'm growing a kalanchoe that has deadwood, yo.

View attachment 605644

My garden kalanchoe from target.
5 yrs in “training”.

 

[Eckhoffw]

Forest compositions are a waste of good trees, and windswept is just ugly.

Double whammy! A forest of succulents!

 

[Maros]

Also, you should never mist or get water on the leaves during a sunny day because each droplet will act like tiny lens, focusing the light and burning the leaves. Even indoors!
Seriously, this old chestnut has been around in gardening circles for years; started and then requoted in books, newspaper articles, and now on the internet. Michael Hagedorn blows this one out of the water in his book 'Bonsai Heresy'. He mentions a scientific study that proved this phenomenon impossible, based on the laws of optics and physics.

This.

And never water your trees during tha hot days in summer.

Only in the morning until 6.00 and in the evening after 21.00.

From end of September you can water anytime again.

 

[rockm]

Also, you should never mist or get water on the leaves during a sunny day because each droplet will act like tiny lens, focusing the light and burning the leaves. Even indoors!
Seriously, this old chestnut has been around in gardening circles for years; started and then requoted in books, newspaper articles, and now on the internet. Michael Hagedorn blows this one out of the water in his book 'Bonsai Heresy'. He mentions a scientific study that proved this phenomenon impossible, based on the laws of optics and physics.

If you have any common sense or have been outside at any point and looked at trees it’s obvious it doesn’t happen. If raindrops focused sun enough to burn leaves, the trees on trees outside in the yard/forests would be severely affected to say the least.

 

[Desert O'Piñon]

If you have any common sense or have been outside at any point and looked at trees it’s obvious it doesn’t happen. If raindrops focused sun enough to burn leaves, the trees on trees outside in the yard/forests would be severely affected to say the least.

Why wouldn't they be affected? I mean, we all know that the rainwater on the leaves dries up before the clouds allow sunlight through again.

 

[NMbonsai]

Most decent mame ficus bonsai can be made in 2-6 months. I would not pay that much for one.

Speaking of mame, this was in our local paper a few days ago.

 

[NMbonsai]

Why wouldn't they be affected? I mean, we all know that the rainwater on the leaves dries up before the clouds allow sunlight through again.

Where you and live, before you can walk over and turn off the hose!

 

[NMbonsai]

Where you and live, before you can walk over and turn off the hose!

Where you and I live....

 

[Hedorah]

Please stop asking stupid questions and making stupid mistakes before you study previous posts. Ask first, then make honest mistakes.

Yes, Sensei.

 

[leatherback]

a dry sense of humor. Some of that may apply to you

Hm, no, you must be mistaken. Dutch have no sense of humor -ask my German wife- and they are direct as can be, which most of the world find insultingly rude. A dry sense of humor? Not in wetsy Holland

 

[JoeWilson]

Yes. They look like they were die cut and premade to assemble at home. Look man, with any other plant type I wouldn't say these kind of things but succulents are the most Ikea looking plants in the plant world.

Oh yeah, totally. Whenever I’m at Ikea, I pick up a dozen of these. You can tell that they're not bonsai because of their… uhh, well, note how they… umm, er... I’m sure it will come to me later.



(Operculicarya decaryi)


(Bursera microphylla)


(Bursera microphylla in the wild)

(not my photos)

 

[NMbonsai]

Hm, no, you must be mistaken. Dutch have no sense of humor -ask my German wife- and they are direct as can be, which most of the world find insultingly rude. A dry sense of humor? Not in wetsy Holland

I beg to differ, sir. I have seen you display all of those attributes on this website. I have seen the intelligent comments as well as the well placed barb, where appropriate. Looking forward to more!

 

[Cajunrider]

Some people in bonsai are way too arrogant . Even the younger guys my age , there seems to still be arrogance and a false sense of superiority.

That can’t be me. I am most humble because I possess the truest sense of humility.

“You can’t do it to me. I’m Vinnie Babarino!”

 

[Michigan Tree Murderer]

That can’t be me. I am most humble because I possess the truest sense of humility.

“You can’t do it to me. I’m Vinnie Babarino!”

Up your nose with a rubber hose. Signed Eptiens Mother.

 

[leatherback]

Junipers like to have a dry rootball!