Violence averted at the San Diego Bonsai Pavilion

[Nybonsai12]

Possibly very true...sadly, I knew a mom who grounded her child from her cell phone. The teen called the police. The mom then stated...she felt it was from lack of discipline when she was younger since she never disciplined her. This woman is my age...so...yeah, my age group also are creating monsters. I still can't get over she placed this information on social media...for it basically was a reflection of how she parented. So my generation slipped a notch or two as well. I guess since I was basically brought up for the most part by my grandparents...I have a different code I follow.

Though honestly...we have children killing parents over being grounded from video games. Is a crazy scary time we live in if you ask me...

There are bad kids mainly because there are bad parents. Far too many people have children and are not equipped to parent. So many kids are the result of people who just thought it's what they were supposed to do.

As far as it being a scary time, i don't think it is necessarily so. It may seem that way as one ages because the world changes. But in reality isn't crime down? aren't violent crimes less compared to the 80's? Times may seem scarier only because you are more aware of what the world is like as a whole. And the news loves to report awful stories.

 

[Cadillactaste]

There are bad kids mainly because there are bad parents. Far too many people have children and are not equipped to parent. So many kids are the result of people who just thought it's what they were supposed to do.

As far as it being a scary time, i don't think it is necessarily so. It may seem that way as one ages because the world changes. But in reality isn't crime down? aren't violent crimes less compared to the 80's? Times may seem scarier only because you are more aware of what the world is like as a whole. And the news loves to report awful stories.

I suppose...maybe it is just my age and though I don't watch the news. I am a Facebook friend...so anything like school closings and major news and weather I get notifications. I actually try to stay away from the news. Our youth are a great group. Some aren't from the most ideal situations...but...there are worse situations. And I am glad they aren't in worse. They are great kids...not all are grouped in my thoughts above.

Thing that gets me is...the young children who are involved in crimes against others. We're talking at an age they should be out playing with other children. We're not talking crime areas where children are running with gangs...I'm talking about suburb kids and such from good neighborhoods. Friends who take friends into the woods to stab another to advance in an online game I believe the reasoning was. That sort of things is quite scary to me. Though...I guess if things happened like that...you didn't hear about it back then. But honestly I feel it's a new direction with children and crime. But, I could be wrong.

 

[Wee]

Darlene hit the nail square on the head....Structure or as I have also called it consistency is what is lacking today.....I don't know how many times I have seen parents say things to their kids only to have to say it over and over again and never following thru with the consequences. Make rules and stick to them.

When my son was about 4 or 5 years old we were in Wal-Mart and he wanted a Hotwheel car....I said OK but we didn't have much time because we had somewhere else to be.....I gave him about 5 minutes to look over all the cars and then gave him a count to 10 or 30 or what ever number I picked to make up his mind....I told him when time was up we were leaving.....Well he didn't make up his mind and started to argue so I put down whatever it was I was buying picked him up and we walked out with nothing.....He was kicking and screaming but by the time we got to the car he had calmed down and said he was sorry.....Was that the easy way out on my part...NOPE. I got lots of funny looks walking out with a screaming child but guess what next time I told him to make up his mind he did just that.

It doesn't take many scenarios like the one above to get kids attention.

Brian

PS.....Darlene my son and his wife are also youth group leaders at their church.

 

[Cadillactaste]

okay...I've taken this thread far off the topic and down a rabbit hole. The children involved were heathens...but...basically not being corrected by the parents that had them. Not murders or crime driven. Sorry about that...the more I thought of my last post...I thought...these children were heathens...but not murders or such. Where are you taking this thread Darlene!?! Sorry about that...U-turn...and back to topic.

I am glad you and your wife were there at the right time and place to keep vandalism at bay...by unruly children.

 

[Vance Wood]

I suppose...maybe it is just my age and though I don't watch the news. I am a Facebook friend...so anything like school closings and major news and weather I get notifications. I actually try to stay away from the news. Our youth are a great group. Some aren't from the most ideal situations...but...there are worse situations. And I am glad they aren't in worse. They are great kids...not all are grouped in my thoughts above.

Thing that gets me is...the young children who are involved in crimes against others. We're talking at an age they should be out playing with other children. We're not talking crime areas where children are running with gangs...I'm talking about suburb kids and such from good neighborhoods. Friends who take friends into the woods to stab another to advance in an online game I believe the reasoning was. That sort of things is quite scary to me. Though...I guess if things happened like that...you didn't hear about it back then. But honestly I feel it's a new direction with children and crime. But, I could be wrong.

Another problem I see is a parental inability to set parameters and stick by them. If you are going to draw a line in the sand you darn well better be willing and able to stick by it. We have a president that can't do that.

 

[Cadillactaste]

Darlene hit the nail square on the head....Structure or as I have also called it consistency is what is lacking today.....I don't know how many times I have seen parents say things to their kids only to have to say it over and over again and never following thru with the consequences. Make rules and stick to them.

When my son was about 4 or 5 years old we were in Wal-Mart and he wanted a Hotwheel car....I said OK but we didn't have much time because we had somewhere else to be.....I gave him about 5 minutes to look over all the cars and then gave him a count to 10 or 30 or what ever number I picked to make up his mind....I told him when time was up we were leaving.....Well he didn't make up his mind and started to argue so I put down whatever it was I was buying picked him up and we walked out with nothing.....He was kicking and screaming but by the time we got to the car he had calmed down and said he was sorry.....Was that the easy way out on my part...NOPE. I got lots of funny looks walking out with a screaming child but guess what next time I told him to make up his mind he did just that.

It doesn't take many scenarios like the one above to get kids attention.

Brian

PS.....Darlene my son and his wife are also youth group leaders at their church.

Your story reminds me of my mom taking us to the store...and my cousin was along with us. Now...we didn't have money. My mother would set the rules before exiting the car as to if she had a $1 we could spend on something extra or not. My spoiled cousin wanted a box of cereal for the toy inside. My mom didn't have the money to buy the cereal for said toy. Explaining so...she proceeded to screamed bloody murder and threw herself on the floor. My mom told her when she was done we would be waiting at the exit near the door. And put the few items in our cart back...and we stood there waiting for her to realize we weren't waiting around watching her drama. She settled down right away...once alone in the aisle. Though times are easier for my husband and I. I have always followed my moms policy...when the kids were small. For a child shouldn't have a toy or what not each visit to the store. Just because you can afford it. Doesn't mean it's needed. Though I can recall once...taking my youngest into the bathroom stall and spanking him at the grocery. I can't recall for what. Must have been something toward his brother...who knows. I know it wasn't for him demanding food or something. They just knew from the start not to ask.

You must be so proud of your son and his wife...I love our youth. Though...I wasn't sure they would like me. For I am one for misbehavior=consequence. I like structure...when we have overnighters here at the house. My house rules apply to all who visit. They seem to love me...so they say. It goes back to my childhood and my desire for structure and not having it. I think all children no matter what age...needs structure, and consistency. Though...I trust my youth...I also sleep on the floor in front of the door in the girls room where the girls sleep. Never on my watch will I have a parent question what goes on while in my care. A few parents surprisingly think I take it a bit far by doing so. But...I can say without a shadow of a doubt...NOTHING went on under my roof I am not aware of. I think having a Co-Ed overnighter it's the only common sense thing to do. The first time I slept on the floor...in front of the door the girls were shocked...wanting me to take the bed. Now...we joke about my being an amazing door stop.

I really need to get a new mattress for our cot. It would be much more comfortable. Lol

 

[Dirty Nails]

We have a president that can't do that.

In addition to the "thank you" button under posts there should be a "screw you" button.

 

[edprocoat]

In addition to the "thank you" button under posts there should be a "screw you" button.

Yea, that would be very productive ....

ed

 

[DhD47]

A problem I often see is the parents want to be friends with their children and not a parent. I have a son and I can see why it's hard sometimes to be the parent but if you don't the child will suffer more. I know I respect my mother (divorced parents) more as I got older then when I was young. My son may hate me at times but I know I'm doing him more good and teaching him consequences.

Dave