BEHOLD!!! THE MYSTERY OF BONSAI CARE SOLVED... (you are welcome)

[AaronThomas]

Picked up this pamphlet at the nursery this afternoon.
The document is real...
The name has been blurred to protect the...um... establishment responsible.

 

[AZbonsai]

Simply amazing. And here I thought I was really doing something. Mind blown!

 

[AaronThomas]

Simply amazing.

Thought it was a joke at first...

 

[Johnathan]

Seems simple enough.

 

[Potawatomi13]

Personally think Bonsai Heresies much better. More humor.

 

[AaronThomas]

Personally think Bonsai Heresies much better. More humor.

Unfortunately this wasn’t meant to be funny

 

[Potawatomi13]

Unfortunately this wasn’t meant to be funny

You kid me.. Joke seems obvious reason for post.

 

[leatherback]

Hey, it is not wrong!
Brought back down to the fundaments of the basics..

Outside in the sun
Water
Fertilize
Trim.

 

[EricMack]

It IS the foundation.

B’nutters just makes it...complicated

 

[Bonsai Nut]

Sun + water + fertilizer + care = bonsai

We are missing soil and art

(Sun + water + fertilizer + soil) * (care + art) = bonsai

Care = species * (maintenance + growth)

Art = (vision * styling) + pot

Pot = (shape + color + texture) * scale

Or the more theoretical

Bonsai = Nature * (1/skill level of stylist) - (1/experience level of viewer) therefore...

Bonsai = Nature/skill level of stylist - (1/experience level of viewer)

Unsolveable when skill level of stylist or experience level of viewer = 0

 

[LanceMac10]

Sun + water + fertilizer + care = bonsai

We are missing soil and art

(Sun + water + fertilizer + soil) * (care + art) = bonsai

Care = species * (maintenance + growth)

Art = (vision * styling) + pot

Pot = (shape + color + texture) * scale

Or the more theoretical

Bonsai = Nature * (1/skill level of stylist) - (1/experience level of viewer) therefore...

Bonsai = Nature/skill level of stylist - (1/experience level of viewer)

Unsolveable when skill level of stylist or skill level of viewer = 0

...lawn chair, six-pack and patience?

 

[Bonsai Nut]

...lawn chair, six-pack and patience?

Probably related to the viewing part of the equation...

Skill level of viewer = experience + (lawn chair * beer * time)

 

[LanceMac10]

….a sturdy set of beer-goggles in the tool-bag....vital for ham-handed folks like me...

 

[Anthony]

Hmm, look closely at the juniper.

 

[Bonsai Nut]

Hmm, look closely at the juniper.

Are you talking about the quality wiring job?

 

[AaronThomas]

Outside in the sun
Water
Fertilize
Trim.

I would live to see you trim your trees with hedge trimmers

 

[AaronThomas]

B’nutters just makes it...complicated

Bare bones basics....
it’s a bit of a stretch.

 

[AaronThomas]

We are missing soil and art

(Sun + water + fertilizer + soil) * (care + art) = bonsai

Care = species * (maintenance + growth)

Art = (vision * styling) + pot

Pot = (shape + color + texture) * scale

Exactly!!!! They are missing 30 or so more illustrations!!!!

 

[MrWunderful]

They didnt have “chop it to the lowest branch”

 

[toscgwsndiqz]

basic sound bite. anything more is just too --- complicated...