A relative of mine decided to tell me all about bonsai today.

[NMbonsai]

When we are displaying our trees and answering questions at our club's biannual shows, the most common question we get is, "how old is that tree?" One of our long term members always answers, "the same age as me. I know that because my mom planted it the same day she had me ". The inquirer always walks off nodding their head, while the rest of us are turning away and trying not to laugh. Maybe when they get home it occurs to some of them that, probably, the last thing a woman wants to do after giving birth is to go dig a hole and plant a tree in the yard!
The second most asked question is, "where can I buy some bonsai seeds?", the assumption being that they can plant some kind of special seeds and the trees will come up looking like what is in front of them.
My girlfriend friend's brother half seriously accused her of torturing her trees by twisting wire on them. She told him that it was like putting braces on your child's teeth to give them a more beautiful smile later on. He wasn't buying it, but she now uses that line when asked about the wire on the branches.

 

[Gabler]

... like putting braces on your child's teeth to give them a more beautiful smile later on.

Americans scoff at South Koreans getting plastic surgery to "fix" their Asian eyes, and then we put medieval torture devices in our children's mouths because we think their smiles are ugly. There are rare cases where a child's jaw will be deformed, and it will require corrective head gear, but cosmetic braces are child abuse for profit, and most orthodontists are no better than chiropractors.

 

[NMbonsai]

You know, that's just, like, uh, your opinion, man.

 

[Gabler]

You know, that's just, like, uh, your opinion, man.View attachment 581961

Indeed.