I want to hear more arguments ..Bonsai Humor Thread No. 2

[shohin_branches]

Most people don't even take into account the tides. Your trees need more water at low tide than at high tide.

It is known.

I live next to Lake Michigan, a very large body of water. Why is there no high tide and low tide like the ocean?

I feel like people have lost the ability to properly extrapolate information.

 

[Paradox]

Most people don't even take into account the tides. Your trees need more water at low tide than at high tide.

It is known.

Except they get more salt at high tide so maybe they need more fresh water then...

 

[leatherback]

I live next to Lake Michigan, a very large body of water. Why is there no high tide and low tide like the ocean?

I feel like people have lost the ability to properly extrapolate information.

Do The Great Lakes Have Tides? Here's How They Work

Yes, the five official Great Lakes do have tides—but you might not be able to experience them happening.

www.thetravel.com

Not sure whether it is true, did not go into checking their claims but it is interesting claim, there is tide in the great lakes, you just do not notice it.

 

[Wires_Guy_wires]

I was a member of a club many years ago, and many members referred to it as a done deal. Exactly like you are writing, forces of moom pull water up, so in that phase, you do not cut anything from the tree.
For me, it was too much paranormal, not scientific, so I never went down that road.

However, I understand that many aspects of bonsai (horticulture) are not entirely scientific. This thread as example - wound sealant, yes/no/home-made/putty/containing hormones/fragrance. Similar to soils, the timing of processes, media for airlayering, fertilisers, and organic/chemical functionality under heat, etc.

Many things are trial and error, supported by anecdotal evidence at best. And there is not much science or evidence behind. But with large enough engaged communities, we can work in those kinds of circumstances. A lot of people are sharing a lot of different experiences, and if you want, you can draw your conclusions tailored for your species, climate zone, etc.
For example, I was thinking if there is any other field of horticulture or plant propagation business which has more and wider experience with propagation by air-layering? I have no idea, but from my experience, if you want to layer some plants and you are looking for a way forward, most probably you will find some kind of hint in the bonsai community online. Can you layer linden/mugo pine/juniper (insert your preferred/complicated species)? When start? What media works, and how long does it take? Bonsai guys have answers, anecdotal, but answers. Right? Who else is doing that in botany? So, I think here we are spearheading. Thoughts?

I think we're spearheading as much as putting our heads in the sand, to be honest.
Just in the past 7 days I've seen two ancient myths reoccur that I thought were resolved in 2007.

I'm waiting for the next person to ask about copper coils in the soil and growing on top of magnets.

 

[leatherback]

Just in the past 7 days I've seen two ancient myths reoccur that I thought were resolved in 2007.

curious. Which ones?
The tidal forces on trees I guess, and ...??

 

[shohin_branches]

Do The Great Lakes Have Tides? Here's How They Work

Yes, the five official Great Lakes do have tides—but you might not be able to experience them happening.

www.thetravel.com

Not sure whether it is true, did not go into checking their claims but it is interesting claim, there is tide in the great lakes, you just do not notice it.

I don't like to use travel blogs as scientific sources. Just a personal rule of mine
this is the information that is cited by your source, but in typical blog fashion, they pick out the part they want to be true rather analyzing the complete document as a whole.

Do the Great Lakes have tides?

Water levels in the Great Lakes change because of weather effects, not tides.

oceanservice.noaa.gov

While the moon has the effect of a few centimeters, the great lakes are considered non-tidal because the wind typically has a greater effect on water levels. The amount of snow we get every winter has a greater impact. I've camped on the shore of the Pacific ocean in Washington, Oregon, and California consulted tide charts for our hike in. I have vacationed on the beach in Barbados where there is little tidal activity due to the landmass around it https://www.researchgate.net/publication/264530363_Tides_of_the_Caribbean_Sea

Ground water is only affected by the moon in areas where ocean tides can spill into aquifers.

There is even less water contained within the confines of a bonsai pot to do anything significant with gravitational forces.

 

[Shogun610]

Don't recall if anyone else posted this.
The quintessential bonsai argument: soil wars anyone?

"I don't want to buy dirt(soil), why can't I just dig soil out of my yard/garden and use that???!!!"

That is a rule not allowed in this thread

 

[leatherback]

I don't like to use travel blogs as scientific sources.

Agreed. Which is why my disclaimer

they pick out the part they want to be true

While tat is true, you also confirm:

While the moon has the effect of a few centimeters,

So there is tidal movement, due to gravitational forces. It is negligable because of other things happening.

100% with you on the camp that the moon effect on water in bonsai pots is not there.

 

[Wires_Guy_wires]

curious. Which ones?
The tidal forces on trees I guess, and ...??

Recent: Nitrogen jumpstarts growth in a dormant period - it does not.
Persistent: P+K nutrients increase flower amounts and size - it does not.
Persistent and recent: Auxin is only produced in the roots and always needs active transportation - local biosynthesis has been proven multiple times.
Persistent: Sodium bicarbonate kills mildew - it does, and it kills the plants too.
Persistent: Magical moon powers - I did the calculations and the amount of water that is affected are two molecules in a decent sized plant IF you would space the water out one molecule thick and use the whole surface area and manage to place the moon exactly above that layer of water. I did not save these numbers but if anyone wants to redo the calculations, be my guest!
Persistent and recent: "The talking forest" that hints towards "everything is connected" through fungi and roots and talking to one another. After some deep dives, there are a multitude of studies that prove the opposite and just two that prove that there's fungi connecting a couple plants. But it's a nice fairy tale that I like telling too.

 

[nuttiest]

The moon moves the groundwater.
The trees inground get a bottom watering. They put out scent chemicals and all sing or something.
The trees in pots can smell the singing and if they are not given extra watering, they go through a sort of cognitive dissonance.
The extra moonlight causes increased sap flow. If you cut branches near a full moon, then you may have extra bleeding.

 

[Wires_Guy_wires]

The moon moves the groundwater.
The trees inground get a bottom watering. They put out scent chemicals and all sing or something.
The trees in pots can smell the singing and if they are not given extra watering, they go through a sort of cognitive dissonance.
The extra moonlight causes increased sap flow. If you cut branches near a full moon, then you may have extra bleeding.

So, if I put trays underneath my pot, this happens every time?
And if it happens every time, would the signal diminish? Would the response to the signal diminish?
We've had record breaking high ground water last spring, our basement had standing water for the first time in 90 years. My trees in the ground haven't bled at all this year, while my cherry tree has the gummosis plant herpes that sends out blobs all year long, except since the high water table.
There's a 400W LED shining in my yard, way more light than the moon. Better spectrum for plants too. It delayed flowering in my daylight-length sensitive plants by zero, same day as every year.

I don't know man.. I honestly doubt these effects.

 

[nuttiest]

So, if I put trays underneath my pot, this happens every time?
And if it happens every time, would the signal diminish? Would the response to the signal diminish?
We've had record breaking high ground water last spring, our basement had standing water for the first time in 90 years. My trees in the ground haven't bled at all this year, while my cherry tree has the gummosis plant herpes that sends out blobs all year long, except since the high water table.
There's a 400W LED shining in my yard, way more light than the moon. Better spectrum for plants too. It delayed flowering in my daylight-length sensitive plants by zero, same day as every year.

I don't know man.. I honestly doubt these effects.

Wait, a 'flood' cured gummosis? This is significant and no one would blame you for sharing this as a cure, despite no scientific evidence. Do you see that to be true? Then, just as that sort of thing happens people will share anecdotal evidence and that is how old remedies start.
Why risk siding with pure science?

 

[vesper818]

I think we're spearheading as much as putting our heads in the sand, to be honest.
Just in the past 7 days I've seen two ancient myths reoccur that I thought were resolved in 2007.

I'm waiting for the next person to ask about copper coils in the soil and growing on top of magnets.

That's to help releive hand arthritis and joint pain while pruning, wiring and repotting.

 

[kale]

Helmet styled trees are beautiful

 

[SFDrake]

That's to help releive hand arthritis and joint pain while pruning, wiring and repotting.

Thanks, you just made me see that im going to have some issues in the future....

 

[Paradox]

That is a rule not allowed in this thread

Ok well after several days and 16 pages, I don't remember what the first post said
Sue me

 

[Burl]

Keeping your trees in thimble sized pots or trays the depth of a dinner plate that require watering three times a day is madness.

 

[LeftHandLuke]

Dear lord with the effing moon phases. The full moon has the same freaking pull on the earth as a half moon or a new moon. It's the moon. It's always there whether your dumb ass can see it or not. The full moon doesn't make it heavier. You all need to go home. You're drunk.

 

[Michigan Tree Murderer]

Keeping your trees in thimble sized pots or trays the depth of a dinner plate that require watering three times a day is madness.

I call it Bonsai.

 

[Desert O'Piñon]

Keeping your trees in thimble sized pots or trays the depth of a dinner plate that require watering three times a day is madness.

Madness, yes. I agree.
But many madmen (and women) are geniuses. I'm not sure I'll ever try it myself, but I can definitely appreciate the work, imagination, and artistry that goes into such an endeavor.