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Deleted member 77252
Guest
Unfriendliest site I've ever been to.
Wulfskaar
Masterpiece
Hi, I'm really sorry you had that experience.
I've been around here for 5 years, and I can confidently say that there are many very nice people here that have helped me a lot (for free). This is a large community with a lot of members and different personalities and different levels of expertise.
There may be a few people who tend to be short and forceful with their opinions that seem a little rude at first, especially when their opinion differs from mine. However, I've also learned that they very often know what they're talking about. They also say the same things over and over to new people, which adds to their shortness and directness.
You're also not the only one who had this opinion at first. It changes once you get to know a few of the nicest people a little bit.
I hope you stay, as this community is more helpful than any other I've seen. I'd love to see your trees be documented over time here, as it just enriches everyone.
Feel free to PM me if you need to. I'll always try to help anyone if I can, whether it's with trees or something else. Take care.
Also...
leatherback
The Treedeemer
Hm.. I was surprised by this post. Checked your previous posts and do nto really see anything unfriendly in response to your posts?
What happened?
What happened?
Gabler
Masterpiece
I was wondering the same thing. I'm not aware of any recent altercations.
Wires_Guy_wires
Imperial Masterpiece
I have been unfriendly a couple times. Bad sleep, bad eating habits, period cramps, stress.. Sometimes I lash out at y'all. And I often don't click like even though I like the things you said.
But I still love you people. I'm not going to do any better though, so take it or leave it.
But I still love you people. I'm not going to do any better though, so take it or leave it.
Dav4
Drop Branch Murphy
- Messages
- 13,961
- Reaction score
- 34,961
- USDA Zone
- 6a
Threads like this one remind me of how much I miss the way this place was 10 to 15 years ago
Gabler
Masterpiece
Threads like this one remind me of how much I miss the way this place was 10 to 15 years ago
You mean the in the day of the Soil Wars?
Seriously, though. When I read old threads, it's clear this place used to be rife with conflict.
Bonsai Nut
Nuttier than your average Nut
You've only been a member here a week and I didn't see anyone saying anything mean to you... what happened?
leatherback
The Treedeemer
I prefer the words discussion, differences in opinion etc.
Conflict is such an unfriendly word which really is not how I like to see this place.
Dav4
Drop Branch Murphy
- Messages
- 13,961
- Reaction score
- 34,961
- USDA Zone
- 6a
It was cutthroat/the Wild West to be sure, but also livelier and full of both experienced and inexperienced "personalities" who posted daily. Boatloads of meaningful hands on experience/advice mixed with lots of humor were the norm, but sarcasm and a dash of vitriol definitely spiced things up regularly. Anyway, the experience here today is significantly "kinder and gentler" now than it ever was.
rockm
Spuds Moyogi
don’t know what the OP ran into but beginners often mistake honesty for cruelty. They run smack into posts that challenge their pat assumptions and take that challenge as insult. Happens over and over again. Even back in “the bad old days”
Nybonsai12
Masterpiece
OP didn't last a week on Bnut... 
must be softer than freshly moistened new zealand sphagnum moss
must be softer than freshly moistened new zealand sphagnum moss
Desert O'Piñon
Omono
At 76, I would expect a thicker skin...OP didn't last a week on Bnut...
I've seen some of your "questionable" posts/replies. You can be direct, even blunt, and you're not alone. The way the message is delivered doesn't affect the truth of the message. But if 20+ years of customer service taught me anything at all, it's that everyone is different. First impressions are not reliable, because they are biased and subjective. My subjective opinion (not my first impression) is that you have wisdom and valuable knowledge to share, but your way of doing so is simply going to be abrasive to some people. I say, "Get over it! Your hurt feelings have nothing to do with the legitimacy of the information. Do you want to learn or don't you?"
Also, we have members from countries and cultures all over the planet, so I think it's important to keep in mind that (as much as I love my country) USA is not the only society in the world, and therefore we should understand and respect that societal dissonance. What is acceptable or unacceptable in other nations may be contrary to our cultural norms. Politeness is a very western concept, and the further west you go, the greater the chance of taking offense to perceived impoliteness. Americans are SO SOFT!
We are a community of people who share a passion and a quest for knowledge of all things bonsai. That's about the only universal common denominator here, as far as I have seen. We get riled up, and we get calmed down. But I hope that your impression of the forum is inaccurate. I've felt welcome since my first day here. For your own sake, I hope you reconsider. There's enough wisdom and information here that you could study for solid weeks and still not know half the knowledge available. Also, even us newbies can make significant contributions, even if just really bad jokes. But whatever you decide, remember, at the end of the day, it gets dark.
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Wires_Guy_wires
Imperial Masterpiece
That long?! Man you must have super power patience.
Desert O'Piñon
Omono
Nope! Ask my wife about my patience after trying to fix my truck, or put up Christmas lights, etc. I married the patient one. But I learned to read people, I learned how to regulate my impulses, but mostly, I learned understanding. I credit that to the Source of my faith, but I think that's a whole conversation for the Tea House.
I loved working with customers, even the challenging ones; they made me sharper, and more prepared for the next challenge. It was more often one or two coworkers who made the job(s) less enjoyable.
I'm pretty disappointed that this next generation largely regards customers with disdain. I'm not financially wealthy, but on the rare occasions we eat out, I will tip well for great service.
Hartinez
Masterpiece
hahahaha! my thoughts exactly. When I read the first post, I could hear BNUT from 10 years ago saying "hold my beer"!Threads like this one remind me of how much I miss the way this place was 10 to 15 years ago
Regardless. A wealth of information then and a wealth of information now. You just can't mistake frankness with meanness. Thick skin goes a loooong way. After all this is the internet.
Michael P
Omono
I joined the forum in 2017. At that time, there were occasional posts that seemed rude and harsh. When directed at beginners I found these objectionable and said so. I also learned to love the ignore function.
Bonsai Nut is definitely a kinder place now than it was then. I very rarely see posts that are rude, partly because I still have some of those members on ignore.
Bonsai Nut is definitely a kinder place now than it was then. I very rarely see posts that are rude, partly because I still have some of those members on ignore.
leatherback
The Treedeemer
Wulfskaar
Masterpiece
That's what reddit is for.
bonsainut.com is my safe place away from the real nuts out there.
milehigh_7
Mister 500,000
The dude would not have enjoyed IBC or some of the others... LOL!!! You want unfriendly OMG! Some of the people I have had the closest relationships to in bonsai I met right here.
Hell, the early days here were even a bit rough and tumble but you got as you gave so it was fine even then.
Hell, the early days here were even a bit rough and tumble but you got as you gave so it was fine even then.
