Brother Bill's Bonsai Confessional: Confess your bonsai sins and be forgiven

[BillsBayou]

Come, brothers and sisters. Step into the confessional and tell us what is weighing heavy on your bonsai soul.

None of us are without sin. If your hands are clean, you aren't doing bonsai.

Need a push? Here is Brother Bill's Seven Deadly Sins:

• Lust - The artist who wants what they cannot grow has empty pots
• Gluttony - The artist who seeks to own everything will own nothing of value
• Greed - The artist dissatisfied with what they have will always be poor
• Sloth - The artist who will not work, will not grow
• Wrath - The artist who is frustrated will never know peace
• Envy - The artist who lusts for another's trees will never love their own
• Pride - The artist who boast loudest has a deaf audience

 

[BillsBayou]

I'll begin with my own confession.

I tell people that I never need to air-layer a bald cypress. If I need one, I'll just go find one. Having said that, I've never tried it yet I will soon need to do this very thing.

There is a unique bald cypress growing in the swamps. It is naturally dwarfed and super-twiggy. There is something genetically unique about the tree. The base is nearly 4-feet across yet the tree is only 10-feet tall.

Yes, it is in a swamp, but it is next to several busy roads. The police would quickly come and start asking questions.

I recently asked a friend of 30 years "What's the best way to air-layer a bald cypress?" I've been so prideful and boastful that I never need to air-layer a bald cypress. Yet the only way to get this unique specimen's DNA into my collection is to make air-layers. AND I HAVE NEVER DONE THIS WITH MY FAVORITE SPECIES.

FYI: I own a Cricut vinyl cutter. My plan is to concoct a fake company name and logo, perhaps "Louisiana Air-Layering Service". Then put the logo on the doors and bed of my truck. Maybe I'll even put a four digit number on the truck and a 1-800 "How am I driving?" message on it too. The more official I look, the more attention I draw, the less people will actually see. When I'm done, I'll be sure to come back here and confess the latest list of sins.

 

[Bonsai Nut]

The more official I look, the more attention I draw, the less people will actually see. When I'm done, I'll be sure to come back here and confess the latest list of sins.

If you live in LA, this guy is legendary...

How an Artist Helped Millions of Drivers With a Counterfeit Highway Sign

Ever been so annoyed by a poorly-marked highway interchange that you spend months making a counterfeit sign and put it up? Us neither.

www.thedrive.com

@BillsBayou Best quote "I have to wait for the statute of limitations so I don't go to jail"

 

[KateM]

I'll begin with my own confession.

I tell people that I never need to air-layer a bald cypress. If I need one, I'll just go find one. Having said that, I've never tried it yet I will soon need to do this very thing.

There is a unique bald cypress growing in the swamps. It is naturally dwarfed and super-twiggy. There is something genetically unique about the tree. The base is nearly 4-feet across yet the tree is only 10-feet tall.

Yes, it is in a swamp, but it is next to several busy roads. The police would quickly come and start asking questions.

I recently asked a friend of 30 years "What's the best way to air-layer a bald cypress?" I've been so prideful and boastful that I never need to air-layer a bald cypress. Yet the only way to get this unique specimen's DNA into my collection is to make air-layers. AND I HAVE NEVER DONE THIS WITH MY FAVORITE SPECIES.

FYI: I own a Cricut vinyl cutter. My plan is to concoct a fake company name and logo, perhaps "Louisiana Air-Layering Service". Then put the logo on the doors and bed of my truck. Maybe I'll even put a four digit number on the truck and a 1-800 "How am I driving?" message on it too. The more official I look, the more attention I draw, the less people will actually see. When I'm done, I'll be sure to come back here and confess the latest list of sins.

Great plan. The electric yellow vest is a must for this mission.

 

[Joe Dupre']

Worst sin ? I'm frugal......................no, that's not right.............I'm cheap. I've dug up most of the 200 trees that have passed through my garden in the last 9 years. Up until this year, I had spent maybe $150 on commercial trees. One of my buddies and I ( I'm 70 and he's 69 ) started to realize we probably don't have the time to invest 25 years in a tree. If we want good trees, we'll have to buy them. With that in mind, I spent several hundred on trees this year. I plan to spend even more in 2025. I also have a nice cart load I'm adding to at Wigert's nursery online.

 

[Dav4]

I re-use aluminum wire… like, a lot!

 

[DeepSouth]

I collected a really nice hornbeam in the heat of the summer, not because I had to, but because I wanted to…

It lived, never skipped a beat.

 

[BillsBayou]

I collected a really nice hornbeam in the heat of the summer, not because I had to, but because I wanted to…

It lived, never skipped a beat.

I’ve dug trees in the heat of summer because I’m Bill Butler and that’s the sort of thing I can get away with. Turns out, the tree never heard of me. It died.

 

[vesper818]

I didn't water for the last 5 days, though many of the trees are under cover....

 

[The Barber]

I'll begin with my own confession.

I tell people that I never need to air-layer a bald cypress. If I need one, I'll just go find one. Having said that, I've never tried it yet I will soon need to do this very thing.

There is a unique bald cypress growing in the swamps. It is naturally dwarfed and super-twiggy. There is something genetically unique about the tree. The base is nearly 4-feet across yet the tree is only 10-feet tall.

Yes, it is in a swamp, but it is next to several busy roads. The police would quickly come and start asking questions.

I recently asked a friend of 30 years "What's the best way to air-layer a bald cypress?" I've been so prideful and boastful that I never need to air-layer a bald cypress. Yet the only way to get this unique specimen's DNA into my collection is to make air-layers. AND I HAVE NEVER DONE THIS WITH MY FAVORITE SPECIES.

FYI: I own a Cricut vinyl cutter. My plan is to concoct a fake company name and logo, perhaps "Louisiana Air-Layering Service". Then put the logo on the doors and bed of my truck. Maybe I'll even put a four digit number on the truck and a 1-800 "How am I driving?" message on it too. The more official I look, the more attention I draw, the less people will actually see. When I'm done, I'll be sure to come back here and confess the latest list of sins.

I must confess, envy and lust, I need cuttings from this Dwarfed bc. (Cuttings take pretty easily from bc, not as fast as seeds, but when dealing with cultivars, it works, dip in rooting hormones and shove in soil)

 

[Shibui]

I re-use aluminum wire… like, a lot!

I reuse copper wire - like all the time!

Envy - The artist who lusts for another's trees will never love their own

Envy is just a catalyst to make us grow our own copy - but better.
A fellow club member had a nice exposed root cascade Chinese elm. I could not beg steal or borrow that one so I grew one.

Lust - The artist who wants what they cannot grow has empty pots

This is exactly what grow lights and heat mats were invented for. Not sure what tropical based growers do to keep temperate species alive and thriving?

 

[leatherback]

I Am Lazy

 

[Fidur]

My worst sin was to think that after 3 and a half years with no horticultural problems and no missing trees, I was in control.
Now 41 trees dead later, I must admit I'm not. A humbling experience....

 

[Michael P]

I hate wire! Hate it, hate it, hate it!

I hate putting it on. I hate the way it looks. I hate having to check it every five minutes so that it doesn't bite in. I hate taking it off only to discover that it bit in anyway. I hate the waste of used wire.

I will use guy wires, props, and spacers. I will not coil and you can't make me!

This is not really a "confession" because I cannot make a complete Act of Contrition. I do not ask forgiveness because I am not sorry and never will be. I am a heretic. Burn me if you must but I will not repent.

 

[vesper818]

I didn't water for the last 5 days, though many of the trees are under cover....

They're fine..

 

[PerryB]

Gluttony: 'Nuf said!

 

[Joe Dupre']

I Am Lazy

No sir. I've seen dozens of your videos. You are definitely not lazy.

 

[Wulfskaar]

I'm too cheap. I feel guilty about buying one tree this year, and it's a $27 holiday Dwarf Alberta Spruce. My biggest/best trees were all birthday gifts. The rest are grown from seed. I reuse wire when possible. Some of my trees lack proper soil. I have only 1 bonsai pot. It came with my BC (which was also a gift), and it's just a cheap, mass-produced Chinese pot.

I lack boldness. It's very hard for me to chop anything or even prune without getting blessings from experts. Doing an air layer last year and this year, I felt like I was committing a crime by cutting into my Shishigashira.

 

[leatherback]

No sir. I've seen dozens of your videos. You are definitely not lazy.

Thank you Joe. But.. I find myself having periods, like this week, where days on end I do nothing for my trees. The last 7 days I only pruned a few trees, nothing else.

 

[Kievnstavick]

Honestly, my biggest sin was committed this year.

I neglected to give fertilizer to my trees during the fall. With me moving to a new place and all that entails, the fertilizing just kinda went to the sidelines.

I aim to do better and I have recently started to fertilize my tropicals. I plan to place Osmocoat plus on all my trees this weekend to resupply the substrates with a trickle of minerals.